If your spouse is against getting a divorce, it is easy to see why you would be frustrated. The truth of the matter is that although many marriages work out, some end up in divorce. While you do not necessarily need your spouse's permission to get divorced, dealing with him/her while trying to obtain a final divorce agreement can be difficult. After all, the way your divorce plays out will set the tone for the rest of your relationship with your spouse as well as how you will co-parent together.
Enlist the Help of a Professional
One of the first steps you can take to make this process easier on your spouse is to hire a therapist or couples counselor. Divorce brings up a whirlwind of intense emotions that could trigger anyone, so ensuring you have a safe space to discuss these emotions is key. You can also use this time to ask your counselor for help on how to discuss divorce issues with your spouse that you know may be hard for him/her.
Effective Communication Techniques to Use While Discussing a Divorce
Here are some tips on how to best approach your spouse to let him/her know you would like a divorce or are ready to finalize your divorce:
If you are the spouse that wants the divorce, understand the pain and sadness your spouse is going through at this time. Take the time to validate those feelings and listen to your spouse if he/she would like to share them with you. The goal is to start an open and honest dialogue about both of your feelings, needs, and hopes for the future.
Understand your spouse may need time
Your spouse may not take to the news well. In this case, give him/her the time to process what is going on. You can also communicate that you would like to do this, so your spouse does not feel as if you suddenly disappeared. Remember you had much more time to come to the conclusion that you wanted a divorce. Give your spouse the same amount of time to process this news as well.
Listen to why your spouse does not want a divorce
If your spouse is reluctant to discuss the topic of a divorce with you, ask why he/she is that way. Be prepared for objections such as "we should stay together for the kids" or "it's cheaper to stay together." It is up to you to hold your ground and establish that you gave this a lot of thought and have determined this is best for you.
Suggest Using Mediation if You Have Disagreements
It is possible that if your spouse was against the divorce to begin with, he/she will not be easy to work with during the process. Suggest using mediation to work through your differences. Mediation is an effective alternative dispute resolution method that involves a neutral, third-party individual who helps you work through your problems by allowing you both to express your concerns.
Contact our office online or call us at (407) 753-4111 for additional divorce support. We will advocate for your best interests.