Co-parenting your children after a divorce can seem like an impossible challenge, especially if you endured a particularly contentious process. It is in their best interests, however, that you and your former spouse set your differences aside and focus on their needs and wellbeing. Of course, this is far easier said than done, which is why we put together a list of tips to help you navigate the new dynamics of your co-parenting relationship.
Working with Your Co-Parent
If you are still dealing with some unresolved issues and hurt feelings, you should find another outlet for working through them, so you can avoid arguing about the past with your former spouse. You can confide in a close friend or family member or seek the services of a therapist. Having an outlet for the emotions you are experiencing will help prevent outbursts, so you can keep your attention on your children rather than on any pent-up anger.
That said, we are all human and it can be difficult to remain calm at times. Whatever you do, make sure you do not end up venting to your children or badmouthing your ex-spouse in front of them. Doing so will only make them feel like they have to choose sides, which will ultimately cause them distress.
Here are some additional helpful co-parenting tips:
- Learn how to communicate effectively: Not all forms of communication will work for you and your co-parent, so figure out which is the most effective and stick with it. For some, communicating through texts and emails helps minimize conflict, while in-person communications tend to result in disaster. Using your children to relay messages, however, is not an option, so do not put them in this uncomfortable position.
- Create a stable environment with consistent routines: Your children will spend time in two households now that you are divorced, but you should still push for consistency. Work together to create consistent rules and routines to minimize their stress and confusion.
- Learn how to argue: Everyone argues, and you will inevitably disagree at times, so learn how to be constructive in your arguments. Learn how to listen to one another and compromise to achieve solid resolutions. Most importantly, if you are wrong, learn how to apologize. A genuine apology is a powerful thing.
- Take care of yourself: You are not taking care of yourself, not getting enough sleep, not eating well, and generally allowing your personal needs to fall by the wayside, you will not be an effective co-parent.
Co-parenting with your former spouse might not be easy, but with these tips in mind, you can work on improving your relationship for your children.
Contact a Compassionate Family Law Attorney Today!
Not every co-parenting issue can be resolved through cooperation and compromise. In some cases, you may need skilled legal guidance. At the Law Office of Russell S. Hershkowitz, L.L.C., our team can help you navigate even the most complex family law matters, so you can move forward with your life.
Contact our law office today at (407) 753-4111 to set up a free consultation.